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Sex, Love, & Relationship Coach, Writer, Educator ❤ Certified Tantra Teacher | www.hakimatantrika.com

I needed to hate you to find me.

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Today, I don’t love you anymore.

You broke up with me a hundred times, and today, there is nothing left within me. To love you would mean to hate me.

I told you that I was pregnant. I thought you would be responsible — that you would accept both of us with arms opened. What should have been a joyful moment turned into a nightmare. You became a nightmare.

You have punched the wall in rage. « Violence, violence,» I screamed, fearful, hoping I wouldn’t be the next thing you’d punch. …


It can significantly improve your relationship

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Expressing your sexual needs to your partner during sex makes a significant difference in a relationship. However, for some people, it’s a very challenging task. Maybe you’ve thought “I wish he does more of that,” hoping he would just read your mind. Or maybe you’ve refrained from expressing your needs for fear of rejection or judgment.

Not expressing your sexual needs to your partner can leave a bitter taste to an experience. Expressing them could actually strengthen intimacy and pleasure.

I’m lucky; I’ve always been able to express my needs during sex. However, I know it’s not the case for…


How to create even more pleasure during sex

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Do you want to improve your sex game and drive your partner crazy? Well, stimulating erogenous zones is the next-level foreplay that will make sex better.

You might think erogenous zones are only body parts. Our skin is the largest organ and has tons of nerve endings. Applying intimate touch on certain parts such as the nape of the neck, the scrotum, the breasts, or the nipples can be very arousing.

But hear me out — erogenous zones are more than sensually caressing different parts of your lovers’ skin! There are more orgasmic points that are stimulated during sex.

I…


And he is not only having sex with you

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Have you ever wonder, “Is he making love to me, or are we just having sex?”. Well, I know I asked myself this question several times.

With my ex, we were purely having sex. I never felt he was making love to me. It was raw and very animalistic, and I admit, I liked it. But after a while, I was craving some lovemaking. Something deeper than just a physical release.

So what’s the difference between sex and lovemaking? Both include performing sexual acts with your partner, but there is a big difference. Sex is purely a physical act. But…


3 innocent things to pay attention to during your next date

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Last week my best friend and I took a short trip. We wanted to enjoy some fresh air and explore the possibility of going on dates with smart men from the city. My abusive relationship ended five months ago, and though I’m not ready to start a new relationship yet, I still wanted to strengthen my dating muscles.

My best friend encouraged me to open a Tinder Account. I created one and made it clear on my profile that I was not looking for anything more than a friendship. I also wasn’t interested in hooking up. I set my expectations…


Is being a sex coach and writer an advantage when dating?

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When I first started my career as a sex coach and writer, I was in a committed relationship. My boyfriend at the time knew me well, so we laughed at what I was aspiring to become. The conservative Hakima giving sex advice…that’s funny.

A year and a half later, we’ve parted ways. I’m single and I’m back into the dating game.

Before, I felt confident enough to move into this field because I had a partner who knew me beyond my professional identity. …


A look at porn around the world

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Can porn reveal a lot about a certain place and its culture?

Even if I rarely watch porn, I have lived around the world and I have noticed that porn categories and their top hits differ from place to place. It made me wonder, does porn reflect a country’s rich and complex history and culture?

I’m French, raised by two Afro-Arab parents and I’ve spent most of my adult life in Japan. I’m currently living in Latin America but I’ve lived in the United States of America in recent years and dated men from there. I thought about all the…


Take advantage of your quirks to explore your sexuality

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We all have our fascinations, preferences, and little quirks and you might not realize that you have a hot fetish!

A fetish is simply a sexual desire linked to a particular object — such as feet — or a particular action — like pain. Nowadays, the word fetish is used with too much weight. People think if you have a fetish you’re consumed by the sexual act, when in fact, you could simply enjoy it.

You can enjoy sexual fetishes without being fully obsessed with them.

Someone asked me if I had any fetishes recently and I said no because…


Find clarity, focus, and confidence in this one simple routine

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It’s hard to be creative and productive when you’re sad and disheartened. Especially after a heartbreak… But my full-time job is to write — to be creative — and I can’t afford the blank page.

So, I took a webinar for creatives last month, desperate for answers. I wanted to learn how to increase my productivity and creativity.

In this webinar, the host suggested Morning Pages. I’ve known about Morning Pages for years but have never wanted to try. Until this webinar. Now I’m hooked.

I love journaling but Morning Pages feels different. It’s useful for my creativity and productivity…


Find your preference

Image by Roman Samborskyi from Shutterstock

Should you spit, or should you swallow? It’s an age-old question.

I remember when I first learned about blow jobs. I was wondering what a woman should do with their man’s semen. I thought that if they swallow, they would send the signal of a “naughty girl,” but if they spit, they would be a “good girl.” I was young and inexperienced…

Today, I know that how you end a blow job says nothing about who you are as a woman. There are many different ways and preferences to consider when finishing a blow job.

I also learned that there…

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